Oh, hi … I didn't see you there. Well, since you were nice enough to click on the link that lead you to this here blog, I shall now explain myself.
The header on this blog, as you can plainly see, is Mustache Challenge 2011. Allow me to expound. You see, for Christmas this year, I was bestowed a gift like none other. Like Ralphie before me dreamed of getting an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred Shot Range Model BB Gun with a compass in the stock, this Christmas I set my sights on a product put out by a small Seattle based novelty company named Accoutrements. The product being … wait for it … Stylish Mustaches! Okay, so the title isn't as exciting (or detailed) as Ralphie's BB gun's was, but the product itself is no less tantalizing. Encased within a thin, clear sheet of plastic that has been lovingly sealed against a luxurious cardboard backing are seven (count 'em, 7!) differently themed faux mustaches. That's right, that means that there's a (mostly) different one for EVERY SINGLE DAY OF THE WEEK! Or one for each dwarf if Snow White was a lazy shopper. Okay, so maybe at this point you're saying to yourself, what's the big deal, I can easily just grow a mustache – all I have to do is just simply not shave. To that I say, whatever. In this fast paced world that we live in today, having 7 pre-made mustaches at your disposal puts me ahead of the game and, if I might say so myself (and I will), on the cutting edge. Of what you ask? Exactly.
So that's the mustache part of the Mustache Challenge, but let's get down to the nitty gritty ... here, my friend, is the Challenge part. Having received such a lovely gift, I decided early on that I had a moral obligation to think of a way to “pay it forward” and I believe I finally devised a way. You see, my daughter Zoey (occasional star of my Facebook status updates) started kindergarten this past September at a charter school here in California. For those who don't know, charter schools fall somewhere between a public and private school and, as such, they rely heavily on donations and fundraisers, especially for their extra-curricular activities. Are you starting to see where I'm going here yet? Zoey's school's music and art program is the primarily focus of my proposition, simply because, I ask you, what fun is life without art and music? It comes down to this, I pledge to wear a different mustache for 7 days in a row, starting this Monday (Jan. 17) in exchange for your donations to my daughter's art and music program. No donation is too small here, folks… heck, five bucks is great, or even a buck a mustache if you're so inclined.
And when I say “wear” I mean for a full day. I plan to delicately incorporate the faux mustache adhesion into my morning routine. I have decided in advance that the most appropriate time would be immediately following teeth brushing because before would result in a toothpaste spattered mustache and I think it's safe to say that no one wants that. After affixing said faux facial hair to my upper lip, I will leave it on the entire day, no matter what happens. If I go to Subway (product placement) for lunch, the mustache will lead the way and help me order. If I have a presentation at work, then the mustache will, more than likely, help me seal the deal. If I get pulled over for speeding, then the cop will no doubt be envious and let me go with a warning. I'm seeing this portion of the challenge almost as an homage to Tyra Banks when she wore a fat suit for a day on her show and was treated differently as a result. I will witness first hand what kind of power and influence having a stylish mustache will bring my way and how differently people will treat me because of it. At the end of each day, it is my hope to not only post a picture or two, but also blog about my experiences. And if nothing interesting happens, as I'm sure is a distinct possibility, I will feel absolutely no shame in making something up in an effort to make a more interesting and/or entertaining blog.
Now, all that said, I feel the need at this point to give you my word that every dollar of your donations will, in fact, go to my daughter's school and will NOT, no matter how tempting, go towards buying more mustaches. I will accept these donations at any time during or after the challenge and will accept personal checks or simply click on the "Donate" button at the upper right to do so by credit card (via PayPal).
Thank you for your time and, hopefully, your donations. At the very least, I hope you will join me on this journey into a brave new and mustached world. Oh, and if you find this blog worthy, please pass this link on to your friends and family. I expect to be a guest on Conan or David Letterman by the end of the week. ;o{)
