Though it's Friday and I typically like Fridays (no, really) I have to admit to being a bit disappointed about one thing. You see, I was scheduled to start work on a certain classic Burt Reynolds movie this week for which I had hoped to wear a cheesy 'stache to the creative meeting ... it would have been perfect. Nay .. it would have been EPIC (I don't care what Lake Superior State University says, I'm still gonna use that word, dammit). Alas, such serendipitedness (you can't refutiate that one, LSSU, I just made it up) was not meant to be. If I wore a mustache next week, it would be like wearing white after Labor Day. Instead of getting smiles and applause, I would only get eye rolls and murmured mocking comments. Okay, I admit the aforementioned applause was only in my head, but regardless, it's clear that my faux 'stache would then be a faux pas. Dare I say FAIL? No ... but I do dare type it.
But here I am, going on and on about missed opportunities and I've neglected to give today's mustache a proper introduction. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you (pause for dramatic effect ... no, really -- DO IT!) ... The Sheriff. After 2 consecutive days of ruffian-types (The Weasel and The Bruiser), today I graced my face with the facial hair of a law man. Once donned, this 'stache was ready to serve and protect.
Yes, all was well, but then tragedy struck. Shortly after carefully positioning The Sheriff (which I have learned over the last 4 days is very important to a mustache's visual impact) this morning, I happened to glance down at the original mustache packaging and noticed that something horrible had happened. It seems that, just one day before it was scheduled to grace my face, the mustache known as The Hero somehow got dislodged from it's plastic cradle was MISSING! After a panicked, extensive 2 and a half minute search of the surrounding areas, The Hero has yet to be found. I will keep you all updated in my continued search. In the meantime, if any of you feel compelled to conduct a candlelight vigil, please do so.
